Circumstances would have it that in an instant my whole life changed. I was 30, suddenly out of a career and relationship and living in a foreign country. I could have run away but decided to stay and work it out. I experienced first hand what stress can do the body on a physical level. I lost my ability to menstruate, could no longer digest food, lost a lot of weight and for the first time experienced a downward spiral of negative thoughts, doubts, daily tears. I could recognise the signs. I was depressed. The depressive feelings did not come from the sudden loss of circumstances but mostly because I had no idea what my purpose in life was anymore. 

Again the yoga practice was what seemed to be the only thing of substance in my life. As a teacher I was getting a lot of opportunities to lead meditations and private classes to highly stressed, fast paced, corporate people on a remote island. Through simple words and poses they felt connected to their body for the first time in a very long time, and the practice of mediation and asana allowed them the space to stop and reflect. They began to release years of trapped emotions and found gratitude for their opportunities and the need to keep going but differently. They realised the necessity of slowing down to appreciate what they have. I was just a facilitator, they did the work. 

In this moment I knew I wanted to help people for a living. To create a safe space for people to find stillness, to be vulnerable and to feel empowered that they have what it takes to feel better. 

It was not until I sought a “healer” in Bali, which was an Australian kinesiologist amongst other things that I got a taste of what it means to not have to “roll with the punches, be strong and keep going with a smile on my face”. I understood that a lot of my behavioural patterns, thoughts, reactions all came from past experiences, a lot of when I was a child. Yes, I had an amazing childhood on one of the most beautiful tropical islands but my family life had its complications. And what affected me then I carried with me my whole life. It affected my ability to believe in myself, to always feel responsible for the happiness of those around me, and to control all situations in order to feel safe in my environment. 

It was powerful, raw, scary and sad but in the coming weeks there was so much lightness. A deeper sense of awareness of self that I had never experienced. Deeper yet complementary to what my yoga practice brought me on a daily basis. 

It was then that I knew I wanted to be the conduit for people, to create that safe space to enquire, to not be afraid to uncover and or re visit past experiences and to encourage people that they too can feel lighter and to live the life they actually want to live. 

Being a mind/body medicine practitioner and holding space is my purpose. To alleviate some of the suffering and create new behaviours, new thoughts, new emotions is what I aspire to. To keep the conversation about the rise of mental health disorders within our society is my pursuit and to reduce that number is my mission. 

Everyone deserves to be healthy and everyone has a right to be free.